I’m back

Wow! It’s like what??? 7 months i didnt update my blog….WTFish??! Yea, a lot of things happened in my life..love life especially..tht i couldn’t write it here…my last post was abt my best friend who confessed to me…well after all wht we has gone thru…and I knw tht he is not serious to me and we are not meant for each other…Im just gonna have a faith with it….its better for me to focus to someone who love me (my lover) than to someone that i love to…not worth it at all..this is wht i realized…with all my prayers its shows how selfish and childish tht person is which can’t suits me at all…It’s gonna hard to forget all this things but I have to move on though….and the other part im waiting for my lover to come back…for some reason that i can’t tell here why he went back to his hometown….im expecting his arrival soon…hopefully you will be back here safely my love! I’m really missing u and feel so lonely…and yea i did a lot of wrong things….i know… i dont know how to express myself here…but yea…I know our love is so pure and divine…

It’s all abt L.O.V.E

Hello to my journal again….sorry for not updating my blog for an ages ….just being busy with my ups and downs life…things pretty much as same as before but there’s something that disturbing my mind….

One of my best guy friends has confessed to me that he wanted me to be his gf… that night was a bit different for us….but I had my limit as I have to remember that I am taken n I can’t be unfaithful to my beloved one…so I didn’t give him any answer even he tried to persuade me…and he said he is willing to wait which I don’t know for how long

Well, thinking abt future wise, yes my best friend has more privilege to make me comfy…but I am not sure either I love him or just like him…so it’s confused me as my beloved one is 70% perfect except when it’s come to financial stability and career wise he is not the one at all…but I do love him so much..that’s for sure…and to start all over again…i think I’ve had enough with it…as for all that I’ve been thru it’s enough to be hurt again…

Talking about my future, my beloved one might go to US for 3-4years to continue his study maybe by end of this year….am I willing to wait?? I have no answer for it…but if it’s worth and we have work out this relationship…i am willing to wait…but if it’s not…that will be just wasting my time. It’s all about loyalty and there must be a trust between us…SIGH!! I really don’t know what to do…

Back to my best friend, after 5days he confessed…we met again for a movie….and this time he acted strangely which I’ve confirmed that he is only suits to be my friend…that’s it…not more than that…In this age, I am not going play around anymore and I need to make sure that the person to be serious with his and my life…. I’m sick & tired of everything actually.

This bitch has fulfilled some of her dreams!!

Year 2010 is gonna be end….i can’t forget about this year…alot of things happened to me…..UPS & DOWNS as all human being on this earth has to go thru it….can I just tell wht I’ve achieved so far for……hmmmm should I say for this year or for end of this year…..i only can remember I’ve step forward from my life to face thru all the hell and try to make myself happy and most important part is to make my dreams come true from October onwards…below is the some of the things tht I’ve or will be accomplished soon:-

1) Driving license- On Going (waiting for JPJ test)….sangat nervous OK!!

2) Passport- Done (Now planning where I should head to…heeee)

3) Myvi- On Going (still surveying to get a good deal & free gift…just to    makesure tht I won’t get cheated…..

 

This might seems nothing for some people’s eyes…but for me this is my biggest achievement tht I’ve done so far on my OWN….SERIOUSLY I don’t know where all this strength & courage came from but I’m really appreciate for wht im having now… May ALLAH will give me strength to face more challenges in this life….AMIN!!!

Dunno!

It’s been a while I’ve updated this blog….so many things happened makes me feel so down, stress and lazy to update this blog….a lot of things to tell but don’t know how to start…should I skip the sadness moment that happened and reveal the happy moment? Or I should just stop here before start crapping in this blog?

HMMMMMMM!!! I don’t know!!!!!

Y

By the time im writing this blog….i’ve just received an invitation card from my schoolmate for her wedding….and when i opened my FB i saw another schoolmate of mine has been married 4days ago….and also this coming Saturday my best friend is abt to engage….and some other schoolmates are happily married with husband and few kids…time past…still remember the time we spent our school time…WHAT A LIFE!!

Really glad  to see them have a happy life with their soul-mate and kids….but why I feel sad? Am I jealous? worried? not at all…I’m pretty sure its not about tht….Well, maybe just feel insecure living like this forever without anywhere to head….I’m no where now…dont say in this age i should not worried abt future…i’m not young and teen anymore….all tht time has past…wht should i do? Yes!! WHAT SHOULD I DO??? Everytime jmp org yg slh…i never blame anyone…coz im the one who look for it…so i have to face it…ask a guidance from ALLAH!!  Im not snob but Am i pure enough to ask a help from HIM?….im in sinful since i’m out from my previous life….i’ve totally changed and now i’m regretting  for wht i’ve done….

Anyway, too all my friends who is happily married & to be married…CONGRATULATION PEEPS!! May this relationship will last forever!!!

Peace out!!!

Happy birthday to Me!!

Yea!!! Happy birthday to me on last 14th August…this is the best ever birthday tht i ever had …thanks to everyone for the all the birthday suprise gift…especially from daddy for the Charles & Keith handbag, A Toshiba laptop from my Richina love… n a shawl from my bestie ever friend ‘Ayu’ also thanks for the dinner treat…tht nite was awesome…. …Love you all!!!

Ramadhan Menjelang Lagi

Ramadhan kali nie mmg mcm lain benar rasa b’kobar2 nyer…bukan stakat nk jadi Vegetarian je….but also this is the best time nk taubat…hmmm biar la hny ALLAH & aku shj yg tau…

Klu blh thn nie nk pose penuh…ceh mcm boleh je bunyi…hehe insya-allah….!!

To all muslimin & muslimat…slmat m’jlnkan ibadah puase…semuga segala ibadah anda diterima Allah

Amin! Amin!

SO WHAT IF THEY ARE BLACK??!!

Wht’s wrong with our people’s mentality??? You are highly educated but the way you think shows tht you are disgusted than country side people….close-minded and for sure you are so KAMPUNG!!!

Look! U have no rights to condemn people’s personal matters…mind your own business….why are u so keen to interfere about their life?? Whatever wanna happen to them….its their damn problem…NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!

And who are u to judge people???  Your status in FB as below (links given) is really shows that you are just jealous as you didn’t get the opportunity tht other people got…come on…wht is this status all about??? You are just fucker!!! Who the hell is the girl…is she your relative or your own daughter for you to care about???

Doc4 & Doc3

Do u knw them better??? So what if they are black, assive u are so white @ fair??? Xsedar diri ke woi…im not angry but just frustrated by knowing someone like this…..very low mentality…I’m not backing up blacks just because I knw most of them…but I believe we as a human must respect another human also….not to judge and condemn them…

Well, if you really concern about malay girls being with blacks….why you need to condemn about their skin colour and saying that they are just disgusting and this girls being with them just for a sake of sex…you could give some advice instead of condemning them…..which this won’t motivate them at all….come on …

Let me put this into your HEAD…since you don’t knw much about African or outsiders!!!

Yes black guys are rough (from their attitude) but not all of them…. not everyone are same… if you are talking about illegal immigrant, we have to open their eyes on Bangladeshi and Indonesian especially… they even have taken some of the places as theirs in KL… like Chow Kit…look at it now..wht will happen if we want the place back to be ours?? Think about it…think before u talk….

If talk about crime… Indonesian’s population is more than Malays here nowadays…Come on…how many blacks has been arrested compare to Bangladeshi, Pakistani, Iranian and Indonesian?

And they have another wife in their own country… they are even cheating our girls here…yes some blacks has did that also…but is it fair to condemn an African alone by leaving the rest foreigner at the other side?? Jgn la mcm tuh….it’s not nice to insult people by skin colour….God has given them that….don’t say it assive they have ask for it…

 

But our people here never open their eyes abt all this.. Tell me about crime….Indonesian is so cruel in raping, robbery, and prostitution….are u talking about drugs for African??? Come on….tell me whose faces always come out in newspaper and TV about drugs? Isn’t it Iranian? Why we never judge and criticize them? It is because they are white right?

I’m looking at this seriously…because we can never judge anyone by their skin colour or wherever they came from…I can’t judge all Indonesian are bad…and its same goes to blacks, white, middle east, or whoever it is…BUT we as a human being we have to respect each other….don’t be so picky..it might happen to you or your immediate family…its happens…something tht you don’t like…but GOD will always show to you…what’s life meant to us…

I’m surprise we never heard any complaint about couple up with White…..just because they are white sake, have blonde hair and blue eyes…I’m even gonna be stick with this statement even if it happened that I won’t be friend with any blacks or foreigner anymore…

It’s all about respecting each other!!! We should look at our race first before we talk about others…dgn kata kasar…tgk bontot sendiri dulu la…bersih ke x?

 

Adios!!

Leo in Tiger year

Its August!!!

So?????? yea…hehe alot of things gonna happened in this month…im gonna be half 50hehe …its fasting month *wink* (time to keep fit…kononnyer la)…then  public holiday for our Merdeka Day will be on normal working days….meaning is a day off within the month…actually its kinda stress also…because Raya is coming next month (yes! baybeh…another burden for spending)….whatever it is….i hope its gonna be alot of happiness in this year!!

So to all Leo & Virgo baybeh…happy belated or advance birthday…

Who says Age won’t change your attitude??

I’m disagreeing with people who always think that they are young but they never realized that as far as they get older, their attitude is changing too. I realized it…well I think it’s not all about the number of your age but it’s about your maturity and how to take & solve things…that’s how I am now…

Yea…from very defensive person, now I prefer to be quiet if any words came out that against from mine…from soft hearted I become very stubborn and obstinate…from stingy I become very generous….not all become neither to negative nor positive….it’s just going by flow and easily…

I started to like to go to the beach just to see the sunset…

i am no more like crowded places…i prefer to be at the garden sitting alone and think about future or flash back about my past….

i love to read novels now… and the most touchable thing that I realized is I’ve opened my eyes how big and great is Allah’s creation; yea….that is when I saw the rainbow after so long….

and also butterfly…

I’m not sure what kind of feelings is this…but Im pretty sure that I’ve mature enough to know how, when, why & what to control and behave myself…I just love nature….